MOGADISHU, Somalia (Glossy News) — A six-year old Somali girl has been given permission by the Somali government to sail solo around the world in a 46-foot yacht commandeered by her father in a pirate raid off the coast of Somali earlier this year. The father/ daughter pair have been training for this solo adventure [...]
ROSWELL, New Mexico (GlossyNews) – The Intergalactic Play Nice Force has decided to abandon Earth operations, so said District Superintendent Greg Gort today. “The IPNF really has no interest here anymore. It’s a wind-down, could take three Earth years at the outside. Bureaucracy is a constant in the Universe. We’ll run the funding out on the Venus [...]
CLEVELAND, Ohio (GlossyNews) — The 10-story billboard of LeBron James that dominates Ontario Street in downtown Cleveland is being removed by the Nike company, which had sponsored the huge mural. According to a Nike spokesman, “We are removing the LeBron James Witness mural in downtown Cleveland and expect the process to be completed within a [...]
Disney Corporation has made another great stride in its endeavor to control all possible realms of consumer fantasy. With a buyout of $4 billion in cash and stocks, the great Mickey has bought the upstart Marvel Comics franchise, the famous comic book non-conformists who created such legendary neo-mythical figures as the Hulk, Spiderman, Iron [...]
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (GlossySports) -– While almost every Brazilian is saddened by the stunning loss of their team to the Netherlands in the quarter-final match, economists in Brazil are celebrating unabashedly, claiming that the loss has a decidedly silver lining.
Just like the little ones, summer camp exists for tweens too. Here is a sampling of a couple of letters the tweens have written home to earn their “composition” badges. Dear Kate (haha Mom), Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Did you know that Camp Swanomee is a boy/girl camp? I didn’t either, but hey, [...]
Rand Paul recently made an appearance on the Rachel Maddow show. Those of you not among her sixteen viewers may recognize her as the female MSNBC anchor who looks like Julie Andrew’s understudy in Victor Victoria. Speaking with Rand Paul, she opened the world to a side of Rand Paul that the world was not [...]
BEVERLY HILLS, California (GlossyNews) — Paris Hilton, A-list Hollywood actress and star of the the hit film One Night in Paris as well as box office disappointments Bottom’s Up and The Hottie and The Nottie, was involved in a scandalous, embarrassing incident on Wednesday morning June 30, 2010 that may jeopardize the mega-thespian’s future career.
OS ANGELES, California – (Glossy News) – Lindsay Lohan was lucky she had the benefit of other celebrities’ experiences in jail to help prepare her for what to expect when she went into the slammer. Big names such as Lil’ Kim, Paris Hilton, Robert Downey, Jr. and Martha Stewart, yes, even Martha Stewart, have tweeted [...]
Harry Salimi, a 52 year old New York resident, was walking his dog in a busy thoroughfare on Wednesday morning, when a sudden dizzy spell and radiating pains from his right hand sent him sprawling to the ground in a dramatic and outrageous fashion after making two brief stops on the way down: one at [...]
Glossy News, never too low to find new sources of information for you news hungry clowns, found the following letters in a number of trash cans throughout Beverly Hills: Hi Mommy, Greetings from Camp Wigwam. Did you know how dangris this camp was befor you sent me her? Timmy my bunk buddey got bit my a snake today [...]
In further evidence that the GOP is an enemy of the American people, gaffe-prone Biden was encouraged to continue speaking after a series of horrific and embarrassing introductory remarks Thursday at an NRAACPA meeting, leading to further verbal and financial market disasters.
IIMANNING, South Carolina (Glossy News) – It’s been over a month since virtual unknown Alvin Greene from South Carolina became the Democratic candidate to run against incumbent Republican, Jim DeMint for a United States Senate seat in November. As some background, he’s the 32-year old unemployed Army vet, black (although that’s really not the [...]
WASHINGTON, D.C (GlossyNews) — Americans are still too fat, but obesity rates in the United States appear to be slowing, according to newly released research. Government data show that 68 percent of U.S. adults are considered overweight, having a body mass index of 25 or higher. A third are obese, having a body mass index of [...]
29 July 2010 03:46
MOGADISHU, Somalia (Glossy News) — A six-year old Somali girl has been given permission by the Somali government to sail solo around the world in a 46-foot yacht commandeered by her father in a pirate raid off the coast of Somali earlier this year. The father/ daughter pair have been training for this solo adventure [...]
Posted in Human Interest, Sports0 Comments
28 July 2010 06:07
ROSWELL, New Mexico (GlossyNews) – The Intergalactic Play Nice Force has decided to abandon Earth operations, so said District Superintendent Greg Gort today. “The IPNF really has no interest here anymore. It’s a wind-down, could take three Earth years at the outside. Bureaucracy is a constant in the Universe. We’ll run the funding out on the Venus [...]
Posted in Religionism, Science1 Comment
28 July 2010 04:40
CLEVELAND, Ohio (GlossyNews) — The 10-story billboard of LeBron James that dominates Ontario Street in downtown Cleveland is being removed by the Nike company, which had sponsored the huge mural. According to a Nike spokesman, “We are removing the LeBron James Witness mural in downtown Cleveland and expect the process to be completed within a [...]
Posted in Sportsfolk0 Comments
27 July 2010 10:40
Disney Corporation has made another great stride in its endeavor to control all possible realms of consumer fantasy. With a buyout of $4 billion in cash and stocks, the great Mickey has bought the upstart Marvel Comics franchise, the famous comic book non-conformists who created such legendary neo-mythical figures as the Hulk, Spiderman, Iron [...]
Posted in Biz News, Talky Pictures0 Comments
26 July 2010 07:39
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (GlossySports) -– While almost every Brazilian is saddened by the stunning loss of their team to the Netherlands in the quarter-final match, economists in Brazil are celebrating unabashedly, claiming that the loss has a decidedly silver lining.
Posted in Biz News, Events, Sports0 Comments
25 July 2010 09:39
Just like the little ones, summer camp exists for tweens too. Here is a sampling of a couple of letters the tweens have written home to earn their “composition” badges. Dear Kate (haha Mom), Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Did you know that Camp Swanomee is a boy/girl camp? I didn’t either, but hey, [...]
Posted in Kidz Zone0 Comments
24 July 2010 05:57
Rand Paul recently made an appearance on the Rachel Maddow show. Those of you not among her sixteen viewers may recognize her as the female MSNBC anchor who looks like Julie Andrew’s understudy in Victor Victoria. Speaking with Rand Paul, she opened the world to a side of Rand Paul that the world was not [...]
Posted in Politics, Society1 Comment
23 July 2010 09:06
BEVERLY HILLS, California (GlossyNews) — Paris Hilton, A-list Hollywood actress and star of the the hit film One Night in Paris as well as box office disappointments Bottom’s Up and The Hottie and The Nottie, was involved in a scandalous, embarrassing incident on Wednesday morning June 30, 2010 that may jeopardize the mega-thespian’s future career.
Posted in Celebrity Gossip1 Comment
23 July 2010 03:21
OS ANGELES, California – (Glossy News) – Lindsay Lohan was lucky she had the benefit of other celebrities’ experiences in jail to help prepare her for what to expect when she went into the slammer. Big names such as Lil’ Kim, Paris Hilton, Robert Downey, Jr. and Martha Stewart, yes, even Martha Stewart, have tweeted [...]
Posted in Celebrity Gossip0 Comments
22 July 2010 02:44
Harry Salimi, a 52 year old New York resident, was walking his dog in a busy thoroughfare on Wednesday morning, when a sudden dizzy spell and radiating pains from his right hand sent him sprawling to the ground in a dramatic and outrageous fashion after making two brief stops on the way down: one at [...]
Posted in Internets Tubes1 Comment
22 July 2010 05:04
Glossy News, never too low to find new sources of information for you news hungry clowns, found the following letters in a number of trash cans throughout Beverly Hills: Hi Mommy, Greetings from Camp Wigwam. Did you know how dangris this camp was befor you sent me her? Timmy my bunk buddey got bit my a snake today [...]
Posted in Kidz Zone2 Comments
20 July 2010 12:50
In further evidence that the GOP is an enemy of the American people, gaffe-prone Biden was encouraged to continue speaking after a series of horrific and embarrassing introductory remarks Thursday at an NRAACPA meeting, leading to further verbal and financial market disasters.
Posted in Politics2 Comments
20 July 2010 02:37
IIMANNING, South Carolina (Glossy News) – It’s been over a month since virtual unknown Alvin Greene from South Carolina became the Democratic candidate to run against incumbent Republican, Jim DeMint for a United States Senate seat in November. As some background, he’s the 32-year old unemployed Army vet, black (although that’s really not the [...]
Posted in Politics3 Comments
19 July 2010 05:32
WASHINGTON, D.C (GlossyNews) — Americans are still too fat, but obesity rates in the United States appear to be slowing, according to newly released research. Government data show that 68 percent of U.S. adults are considered overweight, having a body mass index of 25 or higher. A third are obese, having a body mass index of [...]
Posted in Health, Politics0 Comments
19 July 2010 03:28
ORLANDO, Florida (GlossyNews) — Wearied by weeks of fighting the horrendous Gulf oil spill, the U.S. Coast Guard mobilized today to battle a large leak from a giant whale in a SeaWorld theme park. “This is massive,” said Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen. “An animal this size naturally produces a very big leak.” As of this morning [...]
Posted in Environment, Science3 Comments
18 July 2010 06:02
CHICAGOLAND, Illinois (GlossyNews) – The horror! The horror! This is a quote from Heart Of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, the short story that inspired the movie Apocalypse Now. It is also a quote on the tongues of many Chicagoans when they found that their Life Saver mints, a product staple of the eternal Wrigley Company, a bastion of [...]
Posted in Biz News, Travel0 Comments
18 July 2010 03:55
CHICAGO, Illinois (GlossyNews) — Things got a little strange Wednesday night in Chicago when a one-man act by the name of Arcus Temporis came on stage armed only with a chalkboard and a piece of chalk and an eraser. “What is your name?” asked Piers Morgan of this wild-eyed man. In a Swedish accent, the [...]
Posted in Science, Television0 Comments
17 July 2010 09:11
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania (GlossyNews) — This week’s installment of Kate Plus Eight entitled “We Named the Pet Rooster Jon” has Kate using every opportunity she can to let her audience know in no uncertain terms that her life is shit because she has the kids and the big house in boring Pennsylvania to take care [...]
Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment4 Comments
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Activists Missing After Declaring "War on Leather" at Motorcycle Rally 
Native Americans in Arizona Vow to Deport All Non-Native Americans 
Congress Accidentally Gives South Dakota Back to Sioux 
Kate Gosselin Pissed Over Having to Take Anger Management Classes 
Fox News Group Leads in Dumbing Down America 
Ghostface: I remember watching an Oprah Show years ago when R... 
rfreed: Hey, before they leave could you get them to retur... 
Gregory Driveway: Maradona had a great team at the world cup but the... 
Shad Zarillo: I have been watching Paris Hilton's BFF. Where do ... 
Harry: I think that FF was a great show and although some... 
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