If one is to believe the latest Gospel being proclaimed from on high by Scottish academic and archaeologist Reverend ‘Gorbals Jack’ McTwattie, Jesus Christ came to Britain to further his education and help out his old pikey Uncle – Joseph of Arimathea – with his pioneering tin canning business.
Tulsa — Granville Oral Roberts was traded to heaven in a reported three-way deal with the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies, one of whom reportedly stated after the World Series, “I’d sell my soul to play for the Yankees.” Some are claiming God may have violated the terms of an ill-fated 1986 agreement in [...]
It happened the other day as I was browsing in Barnes & Noble. I looked to the left and encountered a startling image, pictured here. First of all, you will realize that the book had to be faced out in order for this event to occur. I sincerely hope that the employee who made the decision [...]
The worlds first space vehicle designed to allow passengers to experience space travel and weightlessness was hijacked today by robotic Cylons demanding that they be flown to somewhere called the “12 Colonies”. The Virgin Galactic was just preparing for takeoff when a number of metal, evil looking robots entered the bridge by force and took [...]
The UK’s Big Brother think tanks at Chatham House and the Tavistock Institute have now – in their superior wisdom – ordained nursery-age children should be monitored for signs of Pavlovian brainwashing by Islamist extremists – according to a leaked police memo left in a trashcan at Hyde Park’s Whistleblower’s Corner – with copies being [...]
Rogue cyclists who flout the law while riding haphazardly along the gilded byways of London are to be re-classified as ‘domestic terrorists’ and fined by Westminster Council under plans to crackdown on called “Lycra louts” – with rumours abounding that the tussle-haired London Mayor tops the target list of ‘BMX Blackguards’. It has not [...]
Washington, DC: Congressional Republicans reacted angrily today at accusations of abject incompetence and political irrelevance from both within and outside the party. Republican leaders denied their perceived lack of any direction for the country in terms of ideas or policies was actually their “greatest strength.”
Shelley Saround began noticing her hair going gray about a year ago at the age of 23. In just a few short months, she went from having a head of luxurious dark brown hair to looking like Grandmama on the Addams Family. She went to the doctor when she started noticing that she was sprouting gray [...]
(Information received by word of mouth via the north Pakistan grapevine) Osama bin Laden’s cave has become crowded beyond capacity due to President Obama’s decision to send an additional 30,000 US troops to Afghanistan. Every Taliban member not busy committing suicide in a crowded place occupied by infidels is pushing to get into the cave as [...]
The relatives of a 40-stone (254 kg) man from Scumerset informed a reporter for the Mass Graves Gazette that the undertaker had advised them the deceased’s body was too heavy for cremation. Frank McGrunt, a 95-year old former meat pie taster with Gluttons Gourmet Foods, was pronounced DOA at Scumborough General Hospital last Tuesday afternoon [...]
In the heart of the coolest part of Missoula, Montana, and I assure you such a place can and does exist, is a playground park like no other I’ve ever seen. When I say it’s the tallest playground ever, I am so beside myself I can’t possibly be expected to back it up with facts [...]
Thousands of fir trees have been mysteriously disappearing from forests around the Western world in the last few weeks. Forest rangers making their rounds have been shocked to find many conifers, mostly young ones between three and six feet tall, missing with only short stumps to mark where they had been. Experts have expressed fears [...]
The draconian dipshit management of Monty Mamon’s Shopping Arcade at Skidrow-on-Sea have come under severe criticism due their inflexible ‘No Hoodies’ policy. The rigid enforcement of the regulation resulted in a detail of psychopathic Albanian immigrant Gestapo wannabes – on hire from the local Renta-Thug security agency – accosting a troupe of nuns belonging to the [...]
Dr. Phil McGraw, America’s favorite unlicensed psychologist and self-proclaimed therapist to the stars, has offered to provide Tiger Woods with free psychological counseling if it will help him “get real” again. In an interview between Dr. Phil and Tiger last week on the set of The View, Tiger agreed to be asked certain questions by Dr. [...]
16 December 2009 07:24
If one is to believe the latest Gospel being proclaimed from on high by Scottish academic and archaeologist Reverend ‘Gorbals Jack’ McTwattie, Jesus Christ came to Britain to further his education and help out his old pikey Uncle – Joseph of Arimathea – with his pioneering tin canning business.
Posted in Religionism0 Comments
16 December 2009 04:12
Tulsa — Granville Oral Roberts was traded to heaven in a reported three-way deal with the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies, one of whom reportedly stated after the World Series, “I’d sell my soul to play for the Yankees.” Some are claiming God may have violated the terms of an ill-fated 1986 agreement in [...]
Posted in Religionism0 Comments
16 December 2009 12:15
It happened the other day as I was browsing in Barnes & Noble. I looked to the left and encountered a startling image, pictured here. First of all, you will realize that the book had to be faced out in order for this event to occur. I sincerely hope that the employee who made the decision [...]
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Celebrity Gossip0 Comments
16 December 2009 05:20
The worlds first space vehicle designed to allow passengers to experience space travel and weightlessness was hijacked today by robotic Cylons demanding that they be flown to somewhere called the “12 Colonies”. The Virgin Galactic was just preparing for takeoff when a number of metal, evil looking robots entered the bridge by force and took [...]
Posted in Science0 Comments
16 December 2009 02:22
The UK’s Big Brother think tanks at Chatham House and the Tavistock Institute have now – in their superior wisdom – ordained nursery-age children should be monitored for signs of Pavlovian brainwashing by Islamist extremists – according to a leaked police memo left in a trashcan at Hyde Park’s Whistleblower’s Corner – with copies being [...]
Posted in Religionism0 Comments
16 December 2009 12:03
2000 Years of evolution of Western Political Philosophy, continuing to shape our present-day, conflicting, political ideologies… Our present political and social conflicting ideologies, (including the ideas fought for during the Cold War) goes way back, thousands of years — no matter how many permutations there are of these main brands.
Posted in Serious Commentary0 Comments
15 December 2009 01:22
Rogue cyclists who flout the law while riding haphazardly along the gilded byways of London are to be re-classified as ‘domestic terrorists’ and fined by Westminster Council under plans to crackdown on called “Lycra louts” – with rumours abounding that the tussle-haired London Mayor tops the target list of ‘BMX Blackguards’. It has not [...]
Posted in Politics0 Comments
15 December 2009 09:05
Washington, DC: Congressional Republicans reacted angrily today at accusations of abject incompetence and political irrelevance from both within and outside the party. Republican leaders denied their perceived lack of any direction for the country in terms of ideas or policies was actually their “greatest strength.”
Posted in Politics0 Comments
15 December 2009 05:33
Shelley Saround began noticing her hair going gray about a year ago at the age of 23. In just a few short months, she went from having a head of luxurious dark brown hair to looking like Grandmama on the Addams Family. She went to the doctor when she started noticing that she was sprouting gray [...]
Posted in Health4 Comments
15 December 2009 05:12
(Information received by word of mouth via the north Pakistan grapevine) Osama bin Laden’s cave has become crowded beyond capacity due to President Obama’s decision to send an additional 30,000 US troops to Afghanistan. Every Taliban member not busy committing suicide in a crowded place occupied by infidels is pushing to get into the cave as [...]
Posted in War Zone0 Comments
14 December 2009 02:08
The relatives of a 40-stone (254 kg) man from Scumerset informed a reporter for the Mass Graves Gazette that the undertaker had advised them the deceased’s body was too heavy for cremation. Frank McGrunt, a 95-year old former meat pie taster with Gluttons Gourmet Foods, was pronounced DOA at Scumborough General Hospital last Tuesday afternoon [...]
Posted in Human Interest, Strange People0 Comments
14 December 2009 06:21
In the heart of the coolest part of Missoula, Montana, and I assure you such a place can and does exist, is a playground park like no other I’ve ever seen. When I say it’s the tallest playground ever, I am so beside myself I can’t possibly be expected to back it up with facts [...]
Posted in Human Interest, Travel1 Comment
14 December 2009 04:12
Thousands of fir trees have been mysteriously disappearing from forests around the Western world in the last few weeks. Forest rangers making their rounds have been shocked to find many conifers, mostly young ones between three and six feet tall, missing with only short stumps to mark where they had been. Experts have expressed fears [...]
14 December 2009 04:08
The draconian dipshit management of Monty Mamon’s Shopping Arcade at Skidrow-on-Sea have come under severe criticism due their inflexible ‘No Hoodies’ policy. The rigid enforcement of the regulation resulted in a detail of psychopathic Albanian immigrant Gestapo wannabes – on hire from the local Renta-Thug security agency – accosting a troupe of nuns belonging to the [...]
Posted in Human Interest0 Comments
14 December 2009 12:09
From Chairman Mao’s era of Agricultural focused economy to Deng Xiaoping’s Opening up and Reform policies, inviting in foreign investments to build mainly a Light Industry focused economy in China, China has transformed a great deal in the last 3 decades to a relatively rich country. But in the 21st Century, a new chapter in China’s [...]
Posted in Serious Commentary0 Comments
13 December 2009 08:05
Dr. Phil McGraw, America’s favorite unlicensed psychologist and self-proclaimed therapist to the stars, has offered to provide Tiger Woods with free psychological counseling if it will help him “get real” again. In an interview between Dr. Phil and Tiger last week on the set of The View, Tiger agreed to be asked certain questions by Dr. [...]
Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment1 Comment
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